Tainted Milk
Sarah Lundquist with her newborn baby, Mirabelle.
By Sarah Lundquist
I am a breastfeeding mother. Every couple hours for the past several months, I sit with my baby, pull up my shirt, and let my body and my little girl take it from there.
Feeding my baby is a deeply personal experience. My first memory of her in my arms is of her latching for the first time. She was so tired she could hardly keep her eyes open, yet we bonded in that moment through the suckling. One of my favorite experiences with her is right after a feed, when we lock eyes and she gives me a soft, milk-drunk smile and a contented "coo."
Breastfeeding is a different experience for everyone. For me, it is as beautiful as it sounds - but it is also challenging and exhausting. Breastfeeding burns 450-500 calories per day. It interrupts my day. It disrupts my sleep. It has shifted the modesty I once possessed. It has caused 2 cases of mastitis (so far). And I am among the lucky ones, who is able to breastfeed without any major difficulties.
Despite spending hours during my pregnancy researching the safest, most non-toxic bottles, my baby has refused a bottle her whole life. So for us, breastfeeding is also her only means of being fed. This means I cannot be away from her longer than a couple hours at a time. The breaks I get are brief, few, and far between. My baby needs me deeply. She needs my milk.
Equally as important as the physical nourishment she receives from it, my baby also needs my milk for comfort. Breastfeeding is how I can get my baby to calm when she is tired, grumpy, overwhelmed, hurt, or upset. Breast milk is also medicine - when a baby gets sick, the mother's body detects it through breastfeeding, and produces antibodies to help the baby fight it off. Breast milk changes composition throughout the day, producing sleep-inducing hormones in the evening. It also changes in fat content and nutritional value as the baby grows. It is difficult to put into words the complex mixture of pride, fulfillment, joy, and weariness all of this brings. It literally feels like a superpower.
Feeding my baby is one of the most intimate, important, special things I will ever do in my life. But, alarmingly and infuriatingly, breast milk has, quite literally, been tainted - toxins from oil, gas, and plastics (including BPA, phthalates, PFAS, benzene, and rocket fuel chemicals, among others) have been detected in human milk. This makes me feel violated not just physically, but on a deep emotional level as well, since breastfeeding is a major cornerstone of my relationship with my daughter and goes well beyond physical nourishment.
Fossil fuels have polluted us so fully, their components and byproducts have permeated into our breast milk, where the most vulnerable among us are nourished, comforted, and healed. Climate change is not just an environmental issue, a niche thing just for the eco-minded to care about. It is a HUMAN issue. It touches nearly all aspects of our lives - even the most intimate and sacred.
We are of the earth and a part of nature; that which pollutes the earth pollutes our bodies. The health of the climate is indicative of our own health, both physically and emotionally. With the same fervor and intensity that I love my baby, I vehemently hope we will choose and work to build an existence with pure, untainted milk. A future free from fossil fuels and the poisons they add to our bodies, earth, and atmosphere. I hope we will choose LIFE.
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Sarah Lundquist is an environmental educator, mother, and zero waste enthusiast, and is the Communications & Outreach Coordinator for Families for a Livable Climate.
